Addiction

Many people face addictions everyday!  I myself face alcohol and tobacco addictions.  I always tell myself I can control these things, but in reality, they control me.  I've sat and pondered many times on the reasons I am addicted to alcohol and tobacco, but I always come up with no answers.  It's taking a lot of willpower to not drink the last two days! But i set a goal after my little mini vacation that I would not be an alcoholic.  I need to slow down, i need a major detox.  many will sit and say you can't do it, you don't have the power.  But i am here to tell you at this point in my life it has to happen.  I'm 30 years old and have very little to show for in my life!  Tobacco, may be a little bit easier to kick!  But I already know I will prolly get super grumpy and blah blah blah!!! Well That's enough for this post!!! 

"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined"

-Henry David Thoreau

Thought of the day!

It's rather interesting that I'm still talked about amongst the gays of BG!  Just to clarify for some, I do not have any intentions of moving back to the area! I'm better off and much happier where I am!  I have my down days but I am so much better off here than I ever was in BG! But thanks for keeping my spirit alive BG gay rumor mongrels! It's nice to know you still have nothing better to talk about! 

It's Been A While~

Well So much has changed in the past few months~ I have my struggles in life.  I am about to close one chapter of life and begin another~  Life Changes and as I get older I feel the urge to change with it~ Having well over 9 years of BMV experience I am ready for a change~ A new beginning with a brighter future~ Getting out of the shadows of my past and the people~ I have made many great friends and had a blast in this chapter~ Some friends will carry on into the new chapter other will not~ Only time will tell the outcome of that~ I am leaping into this chapter full throttle~ I know it's not going to be an easy adventure, but I am willing to start making the sacrifices needed to better myself as a human being.  I do not believe I am who I want to be in Bowling Green, Ohio... I don't see a future here, at least the future I want.  Making the choice to follow Lance and leave here, I can not say if it's wise or just impulse.. But either way It's going to happen and I hope that it brings me much happiness and joy~  For now my few friends that read this, Peace out and Happy Tuesday~ 

~The Mad Man~

Just need to Get a few things off my mind

I really am tired of all the intolerance in the gay community. They are always Screaming and preaching about tolerance and acceptance when in reality we have to much hate and intolerance between ourselves.   

The one thing that pisses me off most is the guys saying "Just looking for friends" yet they never respond to any messages.  I personally hate that people are only looking for friends that fit a certain description.  When I say I want to make friends on a site I respond to 99.9% of all messages~ Now if i put on looking for sex or something like that I will at least be courteous enough to tell you I am not interested.  

I am not one to beat around the bush I will tell you exactly what i want.  If I want (usually when alcohol is involved, which is always) to suck your dick, I will be blunt and say Hey I wanna suck your dick.  Now That may make me look like a dick, but hey I'm being honest and yea Oh well... Don't like it get over it. 

OK I think that is all I wanted to do.... I am totally not all there and frustrated over people :) 

A New Year, A New Me????

Well it's 6 days into a new year, Will this be the year I become who i want or will i still hide under this shell of a human being?  So much I want to change and express myself for who I truly feel I am :) I truly hope this is the year :) Just wanted to give a little Hello~ And Now it's time to get to bed~ 

A wonderful holiday season :)

So the holidays went great! Spent a lot of time going over the things in life that are important to me. Trying to figure out how I can make 2013 the year I accomplish something meaningful. I'm really excited to see what July throws my way. Shall it remain the boring life in BG that it is now, or will a new city and a new adventure start! I'm rather hoping its a new adventure. In looking forward to moving on and moving past the ghosts that haunt me here in NWO. I'm totally thinking a career change is in order. I love my job but I really think its time to figure out what I want to do with my life. And I'm really hoping 2013 will be the year I figure it out! Of course I'm going to miss the great people I have come to know, but there just comes a time in everyone's life when the norm just isn't enough anymore. At some point in ones life they must learn to spread their wings and fly free. It's about time I went and did something for myself, and now do what others expect or want me to do. It's my life I will start living it the way I want to. I'm sure some will become angry and not be supportive, but hey they have their life to live and I have mine :).
Enough rambling for now, enjoy this winter wonderland :)

THE RAMBLING MAD MAN

WInter

So The only downfall to winter, being so damn dead at work.  It kind of really sucks~ I mean really I don't want to work half the time but hell I'd rather be steady than dead.  It makes for a very very long day :( 

So Tonight is a laundry night arg, I shall only do one load.  LoL Yes that is how lazy I am feeling this evening.

Chicken is in the oven cooking... Not exactly sure how long to cook it, Lance thought 15 mins, well that certainly was wrong, not even close~  So I shall just have to keep checking it.

The best part of the day.... Ozzy curling up beside me all cuddly while I am playing on my lap top :) 

I shall leave you with this thought:

ALCOHOL.....

The Rambling Mad Man 

The Day After

I always enjoy the day after a wonderful evening of Dancing.  I may be exhausted but it sure was one hell of a work out~  For Now I am going to watch Abraham Lincoln the Vampire Hunter and wait for the roomy to finish Pork Chops.. Mmmmm So yummy :) 

Amazing Refreshed, but annoyed

Last nights work out was amazing.  I was in bed before midnight, so I didn't get to catch this weeks episode of the Walking Dead. TO many people came in to the fitness center at 840ish, SO I finished last weeks episode and then went swimming~ Still worked off enough calories to be able to eat a little bit more!  Today's goal maybe 30 mins on the treadmill and some Zumba :) 

Now onto the annoyed factor.  Sometimes I really can't stand work.  I love the customers most of the time, but sometimes My I feel like I'm working with a bunch of teenage gossipy girls, and some not so intelligent people.  ARG, can it be 5 already~ 

Now onto finding something semi healthy for lunch~  Ah screw it, I'll just work extra hard tonight... Watch out fridge I'm ready to chow down~ 

May The Force be with, 

The Rambling Mad Man

Work out :)

So a few things about my soon to be regular work out schedule~  I am always doing odd things and never the same thing (other than my Sunday night tread-mil ritual) So Here goes it.

My motivation for working out is to have someday a body as close to this as possible:

                                                    (Hunky Nerd --- Yes I want to be him)
And yes I know the body above is going to be hard as hell to get, But I shall try~ And try to succeed~ :) 

So, onto other things... and A few of you know that read this.. Stop drooling at the nerdy hunk~ 

BMI= Body Mass Index

For my Height and Weight the normal range is 18.5-25.0

My BMI is 24.7, a little to close to the end range for me. So I am hoping to get that down closer to the 19-22 range. 



Now onto my work out, I do a whole lot of things, from Zumba, to short little work outs from p90x videos, to walking on the tread-mil, swimming, and using the all in one weight machine in our fitness center.  Today I shall start a regular schedule.  I will keep a post on here of what I did, Calories burned and maybe keep a counter of my weight loss on here along with sizes of different muscle areas (and no not the private area).  

I will also be taking pictures for the before and after periodically but I shall not be posting those online.... At least not til I start to look a little more like the hunky nerd :) 

For Now I shall work on my spreadsheet of daily work outs :) 

Peace my Friends~

The Rambling Mad Man

What to do~

I sometimes find myself lost in deep thought, trying to figure out life.  I get so easily confused and lost in what I want.  I am very easily side tracked.  So to change some of that I am going to try for the next week and the month of December to keep myself on track, to try and complete my goals I have set for myself.  I shall try not to add to these goals Until I have finished the goals I already have set forth until the end of the month.  I shall make a list of the goals I have not completed and a list of new ones for the year.  In 2013 I shall try to make myself and my living environment better!  So today I promise myself to make the changes I want to make my life better.  For now I shall relax and Enjoy this wonderful Sunday.  Excited to get caught up with The Walking Dead tonight.  I will be watching an episode here in about an hour, and then at 8, I will be walking the tread-mil for 2 hours to watch last weeks episode and this weeks episode.  I am excited :) Have a wonderful day, and Thank you for reading the Ramblings of The Rambling Mad Man!

30 Days of Thankfulness Day 8

Today I am thankful for my grandmother. With out her I wouldn't be who I am today!

Thoughts for today!

I really am tired of hearing the same thing day after day.  I think by now we get that you're getting a divorce. I'm sorry but I really am tired of hearing the same thing over and over today. 

I really am not enjoying my day at work today.  I should have just stayed home and worked on cleaning my apartment!  I just can't stand some of my coworkers!

It's great to wake up knowing that steps of acceptance for myself and my friends are being taken so we have the same rights as our straight friends and family.  Hopefully full equality will hit every state in this lifetime!

30 Days of Thankfulness Day 5,6,7

Day 5: I'm thankful for having a roof over my head.

Day 6: I'm thankful for the right to vote.

Day 7:  I'm thankful for another 4 years of Obama and changes for the lgbt community!

30 Days of Thankfulness Day 3 and 4

Day 3: I am thankful for having a job~ Even if I do not like it~ 


Day 4:  I am thankful for having loving and accepting friends~ 

30 Days of Thankfulness Day 2

Today I am thankful that the higher being has more planned for me in this life~ 

30 Days of Thankfulness Day 1

Today I am thankful for my Great friends and family from all over the world~ With out them I would be nothing :) 

The Life of A Little Fur ball ~

As I sit here curled up on the couch with a little Ozzy curled up at my side, I sit and ponder How easy his life is.  His only worry is that he isn't going to get attention.  I love my little fur ball and he sure is amazing :) I wish I lived his life~ 

Walking... And the New Walking Dead~

Time: 1 hour 5 mins     Distance: 3.86 miles       Calories: 322.3

Another great walk.  So excited to be getting back into shape.  If I would have told myself a year ago I would be walking almost 4 miles in an hour, I would have committed myself to a nut house~ But hey it feels amazing~ Maybe I really will reach my goal of 135 pounds before the end of the year~ 

So the new episode of the walking dead was amazing.  I'm so excited to see where this season heads. I won't give away any details, I know I hate reading something and having something spoiled from not seeing it.  

Another year has passed, It doesn't feel like it's been 10 years, it feels like it was only yesterday~  RIP Grandpa Heller. 

So for now, I shall shower and call it a night.  If we are lucky we shall wake to another day tomorrow!

~Peace Out~

List of Goals Stolen from the Fabulous Jen

Of course I am deleting a few that don't apply but a very good list~ 

* Attain my goal weight of 130 lbs
* run every day (even if I have to go inside on the treadmill at work)
* Save enough Appalachian Trail 2014
* read 1 book a month
* reconnect with friends I've let slip away from me
* make my list of places on the east coast I'd like to see, find a travel companion(s) and plan out some weekend trips, keep a travel journal
* write in a tangible journal: thoughts and song lyrics
* take more photos of events and moments and times with friends and stop leaving it all in my memories
* go to bed earlier and get up earlier on weekdays
* buy a new vehicle after the new year